MindWise Institute
  • Home
  • Something about Mary...
  • Fees/Schedule
  • My little lambs...
  • Brain & Mind
  • Resources
  • Couples Therapy
  • Coaching
  • Gallery
  • BLOG
  • Location/Map
  • CONTACT
  • Home
  • Something about Mary...
  • Fees/Schedule
  • My little lambs...
  • Brain & Mind
  • Resources
  • Couples Therapy
  • Coaching
  • Gallery
  • BLOG
  • Location/Map
  • CONTACT

I'm Officially a Gottman 7 Principles Educator

10/23/2013

0 Comments

 
Picture
0 Comments

Different is Not Wrong...

10/22/2013

0 Comments

 
One of the things that couples and family members may struggle with in therapy is the inability to understand that...
Picture
For instance, lets look at the color of the statement above ("different is not wrong"). One person may have grown up learning that the color above is aqua and another learned to call it turquoise. Is either person wrong? No, just different. Sure, we could potentially go on and on about the accuracy of the color, but in a healthy disagreement we are looking for understanding and acceptance (validation), not necessarily agreement, correct? 

So when you're having a disagreement, apply this rule ("Different is not wrong") to your thinking before you seek negotiation. Look for how the other person reached that understanding. How did he/she reach that perspective. How did they arrive at that meaning. Respect that his/her experiences were not wrong, they were just different! Validate. Look for how you can work toward meeting both persons needs for understanding and acceptance, without expecting perspectives to match. Then look for give and take from both sides. If you expect agreement on your perspectives, you could be seeing green before the discussion is over. 


Dr. John Gottman talks about how all couples have perpetual issues, but movement on those issues is what prevents gridlock. So sometimes the words can be turquoise and another they are aqua, or teal, or blue, or...expect conflict and offer movement.
0 Comments

Blending Happy Blended Families

10/9/2013

1 Comment

 
It's completely normal to believe your own children are the best looking, most wonderful, most talented, etc. Couples who attempt to blend a family while behaving in such a manner are doomed to fail. Children want, need, and deserve to be equally important in any family! Work tirelessly to create as much equality and consistency as possible for all children in a blended family...treat every child like your own!
1 Comment
    Picture

    Mary Bowles, PsyD, abd, LMFT

    My blog posts are just some of the bits of information I find useful for some or all of my clients. 

    LIKE my Facebook page or FOLLOW me on twitter! 

    Archives

    December 2021
    October 2020
    September 2019
    July 2017
    October 2016
    February 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    April 2015
    January 2015
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013
    June 2013
    May 2013
    April 2013
    March 2013
    February 2013
    January 2013
    December 2012

    RSS Feed

Copyright © 2019. MindWise Institute, MindWise Corporation PO Box 556 New Castle, CO 81647