How to Complain without Hurting Your Partner

Often, couples will complain to one another by criticizing (i.e., "You always..." and "You never..." or "You're so..."). Start your communication with "I feel ___________ because I think_________. Would you be willing to ________________?" You're more likely to be heard, rather than your partner only responding defensively (i.e., "I don't do that." or "Yes, I do!") If you're not criticizing, there's less need for them to defend.