Often, couples will complain to one another by criticizing (i.e., "You always..." and "You never..." or "You're so..."). Start your communication with "I feel ___________ because I think_________. Would you be willing to ________________?" You're more likely to be heard, rather than your partner only responding defensively (i.e., "I don't do that." or "Yes, I do!") If you're not criticizing, there's less need for them to defend.
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Mary Bowles, PsyD, abd, LMFTMy blog posts are just some of the bits of information I find useful for some or all of my clients. Archives
December 2021
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