How to Know if Your Relationship is in Distress

Ask yourself the following questions:

*Do you frequently find fault with or criticize your partner?

*Do you often think about ways you want your partner to change?

*Do you find yourself wishing your partner had different and better qualities?

*Do you often wish you had not gotten involved with this person (or gotten married)?

*Do you find yourself more withdrawn from your partner and more drawn into yourself?

*Do you experience depression, tension, or headaches from worrying about your relationship?

*Have you or your partner been drinking more or taking more drugs recently?

*Have insults, sarcasm, mockery, and eye rolling become a typical characteristic of your communication?

*Do you feel your disagreements never get resolved and come up repeatedly?

*Do you continually argue over seemingly insignificant issues?

*Do you feel like you frequently have to defend yourself against your partner’s criticism?

*Do you avoid expressing your anger or frustration to your partner?

*Has your sexual relationship decreased in its frequency and satisfaction?

*Are you becoming emotionally or socially involved with another person?

*Do your children take sides with your partner against you, or vice versa?

*Has your level of overall relationship satisfaction decreased?

The more "yes" answers you give, the stronger the recommendation for couples therapy.

Adapted from Dr. David Olson, University of Minnesota