If you're kid comes home from school and says, "I HATE that kid!" and your reply is, "Don't say hate. That's not nice!" or something similar, you are telling him (or her) the feeling is wrong, not how to more effectively deal with that feeling. So instead try, "That must feel pretty uncomfortable." This is much more validating. Then he gets to learn problem solving skills as you move into helping him find ways to deal with the feeling that IS there.
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Mary Bowles, PsyD, abd, LMFT
My blog posts are just some of the bits of information I find useful for some or all of my clients.